September 27, 2008

Stress in the Equinox


I am on holiday!!!!
Yes – two weeks….bliss. This morning was the first day, and I walked the dogs and did some weeding… then I woke up!!!! The dream has not become reality, and I am still in bed. But I don’t feel guilty.

I heard this week that we are at the spring equinox...which might help explain why work has become a major source of stress and bother this week, when it is usually great. I loved it and was amazed to be paid to do something that was such a pleasure. Now, burn out and anxiety are taking their toll.

This week, I started feeling ill and sick and shaky when I go to my office and cried twice up there. Not to mention at home…all Monday night, odd moments. I have focused on prioritization and conflict resolution and trying to figure out what the hell is going on. After 11 years in the job I can usually do it with one hand tied behind my back. Something is not right. Menopause, overwork, budget cuts, staff cuts…..yes, I am 50 and working in tertiary education.

I am not alone in the issues, but it is seriously making me reconsider my options. Self employment in a recession does not appeal greatly, but at some stage my health will pay the price and that scares me. Poison whispers seems to be the issue. But no facts. She says, he says, they say…..blah blah blah. It is making it hard for me to work as my self esteem is shaky.

Time for planning, but not until I have had two weeks off to clear my head and relax.

How did I help myself cope? After the last meltdown, I took a long walk around the lake with the dogs. So lucky too live with this at my gate...


Later I booked an hour long relaxing massage with essential oils, and spent a relaxed evening with another great friend and past student. I guess we supported each other this week. You can read her journey on her own blog…http://neo-conduit.blogspot.com/


Yesterday I took her back to hospital for further major surgery. So far so good. I will visit her today. As well as our friendship, she helps me keep my issues in perspective …as they are often trivial next to what she is facing! But she always takes the time to work through mine...and I try to be there in return for her. Not charity - just what friends do. - late edit: Good news - she is up and about....all well.

Yesterday, I had some quality time with my class, and some of my good friends....and today I feel much better!!!!! Sometimes you have to reach out and ask for help. And lets face it, hope springs eternal and the glass is half full. I have nothing to really complain about.

It is spring here…and I took these pictures around the house yesterday morning, Just as well… the spring equinox gales are trying to take all the blossom away as I write.



3 comments:

  1. Good to get some proper news....
    Am thinking - funny (not 'haha' the other kind of funny) how life throws stuff at one. I have found in the past that it's often the inexplicable pernicious emotional stuff that really twists the knife in......physical - that can be seen and felt, somehow seems real. Not coping is nebulous and hard....I have had lots of those kind of episodes and I still don't really know what the answer is - except friends, cups of tea and doggie cuddles.
    Glad news from the hospital is on the + side. Ignore my FB questionings!
    xx Thoughts from t'other side of the world......take up one of my discarded skills - turning table legs is good!

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  3. thanks Antler...
    yes - I dont do not coping very well at all!

    Have always thought wood turning looked interesting...I used to enjoy pottery with Cor at school...guess you remember those days too. Particularly liked making vases and jugs on the wheel - shaping them under my hands...:) LOL - makes me think of that scene in Ghost... but i was only 11 then and that wasn't the reason I enjoyed pottery!

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