March 10, 2009

Happy 21st Birthday

It was a lovely weekend. My brother and his wife arrived safely from their travels though the North Island. (They return to Vancouver next weekend). We  met up with them on Friday evening and chattered into the small hours. .
Saturday - a very hot day, we spent the afternoon moving furniture... which was an amusing exercise.
I quote from Kirst's page!!:
The moving day was a bit of a mission. We did it kiwi style which is basically, anything will do, and we will make it happen regardless. Fi and her partner helped thank god!

So we used her four wheel drive vehicle and her partners sports car. Fi and I believed it would take a couple of it was a lot of furniture.
Her partner had other ideas though.
It was a bit of a mission getting the furniture down the rather steep staircase, I got a great workout.
At the end we all stood around and watched Fi's partner cram all of the furniture into the two vehicles.
Amazed and stunned we were down to the last two items and strongly believed we would have to return. Nope he didn't give up until all was in the cars.
I joked about giving some people a lift on the roof of her 4wd also as it contained the king single bed in its entirety.

In the cars were ( I wished I took photos). King single bed, a dresser with mirror, medium bookshelf, 2 storage units, desk, 2 side tables. They were not small items.
My ex was surprised we didn't bring a trailer. Aside from none of us having tow bars on our cars, who needs a trailer when Fi's partner loves puzzles, and fitting all the pieces in.

and of course, we had my son's 21st!!!

Happy Birthday :)
My brother watching the presents... one happy son gets an I pod touch !

It was a lovely day - warm and sunny with good food and great company. We managed to Skype with Jess and James in Bangladesh, and later, with our cousin in Pennsylvania! So good to see them, even if it sucks up the bandwidth! We often just talk with the video turned off - but still great as a catch up.

All good things must end. I said goodbye to my brother and wife yesterday, as they are off traveling again today. My family has been separated for years, all living in different countries; all doing our own thing - so was good to have us all back together for a weekend!

We had it confirmed last night that Phoebe and family are being transferred to Auckland shortly.. so more farewells ahead for us too. I know we will both miss them all!  But it happens to all families. Yesterday, my friend watched her newly married daughter and her grandson return to the UK... as she said, "couldn't they at least leave the baby behind!" I know what she means,. They change so fast and she knows she will miss out on most of his childhood, forever, irreplaceable time. I can tell her that so did my parents... and the grandchildren were all young adults when they returned; that she will eventually forge her own, adult relationship with them  - but hard when you like to know them as children and be part of their development. I was actually quite lucky because, in  the early years, I did have my parents-in-law living near us, who fostered a close relationship with their crawling, toddling, younger grandchildren. I know the children loved their special chance of staying the night with them, always one at a time, always with their favourite treats. Grandma was a Polish matriarch...and not the easiest of people, but her presence gave me the backup and support I needed to care for four children, work part time and stay sane! ( although the jury is probably still out on my sanity)....  Sadly, they both died in the mid 90's, before my own parents returned here from England.

Overall, I am feeling quite raw, but sort of detached. Been so much going on lately - always something to cope with. Deaths, goodbyes, disappointments; but let's face it, you just have to carry on. British upper lip stuff? Work goes on, day to day life goes on; it doesn't pay to feel too much. Emotion is draining, tiring, and crying just makes you feel worse!  Technology helps soften the blow, but life is just not the same when you no longer share your lives with people. They become virtual friendships and the people you spend your days, hours with matter more than those far away. The internet is great; I love it, but it is another form of virtual detachment. Much as I enjoy Facebook, blogging, chatting, it is true that it can never replace the real friendship of sharing food, laughter and working alongside the people you care about. So thank you for the chance to do the furniture moving and the movies Kirst - was a great laugh and we both enjoyed it. Thank you to all my friends at work who see the changing landscape of my life and still offer support and company.  Thank you to my brother and his wife for traveling so far - was great to see you. Thank you to the kids for their company at the 21st - was really  lovely to spend time with you; to see you as adults, not just my children. Thank you to my parents for having us all there; was greatly appreciated and a lovely day to remember. Thank you to my partner for just being there and loving me, because at the end of the day that is the most important part of our lives together and the support for each other makes all the other stuff more enjoyable, or easier to handle. xx

My ultimate coping strategy is humour, so for some to cheer your day, do go and read:

and this is what we usually do when we are on the boat in Kaikoura (annual dolphin swim trip next weekend)
Wonder if this will happen???

Hoping the weather settles down before this- from sunny days to a forecast of snow on the hills tonight - we want a clear, sunny day with still water!!!!


  1. Pleased you had a happy weekend with some of your family. love the 'titanic' picture!!!
    Tracey x x x

  2. Lol on the pic. Hun your one of the most sane people I know.
    Its ok to cry your only human, a source has told me when you cry you also release "feel good " chemicals. maybe I need to have a bawl more often.
    A wonderful post by an amazing person who deserves the world!!!!
    Love Kirst xoxo

  3. thank you too Fi, for allowing us a glimpse of your life, for sharing with us your inner thoughts and aspirations.
    let me quote a line from my previous post:
    "Being in front of the computer most of my waking hours, i don't know anymore where one ends and where the other begins, or if it even matters.
    Like real life, I've met some people online who I thought were great and had become my friends, and there are people I initially knew in real life who I only get to communicate through email and by chatting online, because we have moved into different locations. So maybe by meeting online first, we just flip the script?
    I count myself lucky for being able to dive into the cyber community and get the support and laughter and so on, that I need to keep going in my daily real life.
    I think that in the end, online friends can be there for each other in some ways that "real" friends might not be- but real friends have their own definite advantage.
    Still, I'm quite sure that good friends can offer support in a variety of ways and the computer is one of them."

  4. Thanks all of you :)
    And BB - I think the internet can add a great depth to friendships, however the friendship came into being. I see some amazing support bridging geography, age, backgrounds...It allows people to reach out and touch other lives in a way that was unimaginable before this technology! I love it. As long as there is a balance in it. I do feel sorry for people who don't have it or know how to use it though... as people may share more online than they will ever do face to face, which women often use to establish "friendship" faster....

    I have to admit, I was also thinking about a comment I read this week on

    " Generally speaking we aren’t affected by the world around us. If a butterfly has a small poo in Zimbabwe, it won’t cause some major fluctuation in the dark matter of space and time. We’ll just read the news online, and then log on to MyFaceSpace to Update Our Status, which will be along the lines of, “Pinkstone has just had a wee” (11 mins ago), or “Carol is looking forward to her hols in August” (4 mins ago), or even “Geoff is no longer in a full-time relationship” (6 mins ago) - such exciting and death-defying social expression."

    Hopefully we can harness the power of the internet for more than this!!

    And feeling better - fi :)

  5. Your sense of humour is great! I love all your funny pics. Glad you had a good weekend with your family.

    Amy xxx

  6. I disagree on one thing. You have to let the emotions flow freely! Live it all, to the max! But, doing so, you have to always keep in mind that a low will follow a high, and a high will follow a low. That's just the way life flows along, and as long as you keep it in perspective - knowing that the lows will get better eventually - it will work.

    Just my ignorant two cents, as usual :-)


Comments welcome....always love to hear what you think!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin